Your husband-to-be finally popped the question, and you officially get to begin planning the wedding of your dreams. It's going to be one of the most special days of your life, and you can't wait to begin getting everything in order. There's only one problem: you're not the only one who wants to have a say in the day's events.
Both mothers of the bride and mothers of the groom tend to get very excited about weddings, and they will probably want to help you with the planning process. But what happens when their offers to help turn into demands for having the final say?
How To Deal With Your Overly Involved Mother (Or Future MIL)
There's nothing wrong with letting your mom be involved in wedding planning process - in fact, you'll probably find the extra help incredibly beneficial as your big day draws closer. That being said, you should never have to feel like your mom is taking over your wedding plans. Here are some simple suggestions to help you and your mom strike a proper balance.
1. Be Optimistic
First and foremost, you should never condemn your mom before she has done anything. Even if you are almost positive she will become overly involved, give her the benefit of the doubt by maintaining an optimistic outlook. You can deal with problems as they arise, but there's no point in making an issue out of nothing.
2. Be Careful How You Ask For Help
Asking your mom for her opinion is perfectly fine (in fact, we encourage it), but problems arise when your mom or future MIL think that you've given them free reign to make a decision. When asking for their opinions, be sure to stress that you want exactly that: their opinions. Using this verbiage will help avoid dangerous miscommunication.
3. Give Her Specific Tasks
If your mom likes to be in charge, give her specific responsibilities that she can completely control. If you know you want flowers but don't have a specific vision for them, put your mom in charge of organizing the floral arrangements. You can always ask that she run things by you for final approval first, but she will probably love the opportunity to get more involved. (As an added benefit, she will be less likely to meddle with other areas if she already has her hands full with the tasks you have given her!)
4. Let Your Mom Know When She Is Overstepping Her Bounds
This will undoubtedly be a challenging conversation, but the sooner you can get your feelings out in the open, the better. The only thing worse than having your mom try to become overly involved is allowing her to think that you appreciate her extra help (when you actually don't). By working together, you'll be able to design a wedding that both of you will love.
5. Let Someone Else Be The Bad Guy
When all else fails, ask someone else to talk to your mom for you. Your wedding coordinator can be a particularly great resource for this. If you are planning your wedding yourself, your maid/matron of honor or close family friend may be able to help. Your own relationship with your mother/mother-in-law will be under enough strain as it is; don't be afraid to ask someone else to have the tough conversations.
What Other Suggestions Do You Have?
If you have another tried-and-true trick for dealing with an overly involved mother or mother-in-law, tweet us @WhereBridesGo and let us know! We always love to hear your ideas.
~ The WhereBridesGo.com Team
Post by Bailey Puppel, Internet Marketing Specialist
Both mothers of the bride and mothers of the groom tend to get very excited about weddings, and they will probably want to help you with the planning process. But what happens when their offers to help turn into demands for having the final say?
How To Deal With Your Overly Involved Mother (Or Future MIL)
There's nothing wrong with letting your mom be involved in wedding planning process - in fact, you'll probably find the extra help incredibly beneficial as your big day draws closer. That being said, you should never have to feel like your mom is taking over your wedding plans. Here are some simple suggestions to help you and your mom strike a proper balance.
1. Be Optimistic
First and foremost, you should never condemn your mom before she has done anything. Even if you are almost positive she will become overly involved, give her the benefit of the doubt by maintaining an optimistic outlook. You can deal with problems as they arise, but there's no point in making an issue out of nothing.
2. Be Careful How You Ask For Help
Asking your mom for her opinion is perfectly fine (in fact, we encourage it), but problems arise when your mom or future MIL think that you've given them free reign to make a decision. When asking for their opinions, be sure to stress that you want exactly that: their opinions. Using this verbiage will help avoid dangerous miscommunication.
3. Give Her Specific Tasks
If your mom likes to be in charge, give her specific responsibilities that she can completely control. If you know you want flowers but don't have a specific vision for them, put your mom in charge of organizing the floral arrangements. You can always ask that she run things by you for final approval first, but she will probably love the opportunity to get more involved. (As an added benefit, she will be less likely to meddle with other areas if she already has her hands full with the tasks you have given her!)4. Let Your Mom Know When She Is Overstepping Her Bounds
This will undoubtedly be a challenging conversation, but the sooner you can get your feelings out in the open, the better. The only thing worse than having your mom try to become overly involved is allowing her to think that you appreciate her extra help (when you actually don't). By working together, you'll be able to design a wedding that both of you will love.
5. Let Someone Else Be The Bad Guy
When all else fails, ask someone else to talk to your mom for you. Your wedding coordinator can be a particularly great resource for this. If you are planning your wedding yourself, your maid/matron of honor or close family friend may be able to help. Your own relationship with your mother/mother-in-law will be under enough strain as it is; don't be afraid to ask someone else to have the tough conversations.
What Other Suggestions Do You Have?
If you have another tried-and-true trick for dealing with an overly involved mother or mother-in-law, tweet us @WhereBridesGo and let us know! We always love to hear your ideas.
~ The WhereBridesGo.com Team
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